Let’s do a weird headcanon thing

Young Renji Edition!

_{1. What they smell like: mud}

_{2. How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc): on his back when he’s not on watch duty otherwise mostly sitting up with both his ears open and on the alert, super light sleeper}

_{3. What music they enjoy: what is this music you talk about??}

_{4. How much time they spend getting ready every morning: none unless Rukia nags him to wash his face and brush his teeth but even then that only takes like 2 mins} 

_{5. Their favorite thing to collect: Food because forever hungry ok}

_{6. Left or right-handed: right.}

_{7. Religion (if any):  Food.}

_{8. Favorite sport: Hunt for food}

_{9. Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling: Look for food}

_{10. Favorite kind of weather: who cares, where’s the food?}

_{11. A weird/obscure fear they have: Rukia’s cooties}

inspirenjional:

Roars in frustration and drops the kid right on his bony little ass. Presses a hand down on the tiny Renji’s head with a firm grip. “I know you’re a nasty little street rat who’s hardly even seen soap! Geeze, I knew you weren’t bright or nothin’ but I didn’t think you’d be as slow as a pile of mud!”

Falls on is bum and remains stubbornly seated there refusing to show it hurt, call it pride or misguided ego or just plain pigheadedness. The kid’s got issues but he’s not about to let some shinigami lecture him, even if he did look vaguely familiar. “Tsk, whatever. I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my pa. You’re just one of those stupid shinigami that look down on people.”

lunaeterea:

_{“Obviously the gate guardians are incompetent at their posts
    if a little runt like you can find your way in here.”}

_{What the hell was he even doing here and where was here?! "What’s that punk? Exactly whooo are you calling a lil runt here huh? I double dog dare you to say that shit to my face again, you.”}

inspirenjional:

“….!!!!”

Picks him up by the collar and dangles him for the air, roughly jostling him. “Some little fucking twerp is asking to get his mouth washed out with a shittonna soap! No wonder you only have, like, four friends. An ugly lil’ runt like you is just asking to get throttled.”

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY LET GOOO OF MEEE!!” Kicks and wiggles about in the big shinigami’s grip suddenly somersaulting and fly kicking the man right square in the face with his dirty little feet and hopefully earning him enough time to slip out of his grip. “Whadd'ya know about y friends ya big ape? Go wash your own mouth with soap and lemme alone!!" 

wisteriaessence:

crimsonstray replied to your post: crimsonstray asked:-glares at- …

_{“Kid?? That’s rich coming from a shortie like you.” Totally hid his stash so she can’t take hah! “What’re you talking ‘bout huh? What fruit?”}

_{“Still taller than you.” He’s more ornery than she was as a kid… it’s still sort of nostalgic, though not really in a good way. Obviously he’s going to be difficult, so she just drops the topic of the now hidden fruit. “Seriously though, what’s with the stinkeye? Is it the uniform?”}

_{“Whatever.” Scoffs and continues glaring. Why was this woman even talking to him?! Maybe he should just make a run for it and hope she doesn’t follow. Lead her down the weirdest parts of town then lose her there, yeah. “Why the fuck should I tell you? You’re not the boss of me. And I can look at you any way I want."} 

inspirenjional:

crimsonstray replied to your post:candysensei replied to your post:HEEEEY GET YOU…

OIIIIII COWFACE IM NOT YOURS TO SELL OFF! -headbutts him where the sun dun shine and makes a run for it-

“I WILL PICK YOU UP BY YOUR ITTY-BITTY THROAT AND THROW YOU SMACK INTO A WALL, YOU BONY LITTLE SHITSTAIN.”

Harks and shoots a whooping spitball your way. 

“Says the big fat ugly cowface, touch me and die.”